A woman’s lingerie drawer should be one of the sexiest places in the house.

I’ve got some seriously bad feng shui going on in mine

Sports bras, practical underwires, lacey push-ups, athletic boyshorts, sheer teddies, leopard print thongs, cotton bikinis (the comfort food of underwear)—they are all tangled together and crammed into the top drawer of my dresser. 

My man’s top drawer isn’t much better. Since one of the basic principles of feng shui is to get rid of clutter, I decide to purge.  I start with the underwear we never wear and then go for the ones we’ve worn too much.

Old underwear isn’t sexy. 

We agreed on this fact early on in our relationship when we made a pact to do whatever it took to sustain a sexy, passionate relationship.

I kept the juices flowing by writing erotic essays about our outdoor adventures. My outdoor guide kept the flow of material coming. We agreed that for Christmas and birthdays we’d buy each other sexy underwear.

Flash forward nine years: 

My erotic memoir is done.

My guide took a full-time job as a wildlife biologist so we had to give up (temporarily, I swear) our bohemian lifestyle in Colorado and move to Northeast Oregon. The flow of outdoor adventure material has dwindled to a trickle.

As I dig around our top drawers, we've obviously drifted from the sexy underwear tradition. A couple of New Year’s ski trips to Canada and a 1964 Schwinn tandem bike ate up the budget.

My man has a birthday coming, so I get on-line and jump start the tradition. 

When he gets home, sweaty and dirty from a day chasing cougars, he mistakes my pile of castaways on the bed for clean laundry. He grabs his favorite platinum-colored Mansilk boxer briefs as he heads to the shower. They look more gray now than silver and have holes near the hem.

“Hey, you can’t wear those.  They aren’t sexy any more,” I say as I point towards the pile. “None of this stuff is.”

It’s kind of sad, a small mound of Birthday and Christmas Past.

“You’re just going to throw them away?” he asks.

“I guess.  I haven’t been able to do it yet.”

He reaches down and picks out a shapeless fuchsia thong and a disintegrating nude demi-bra, the one I wore under my wedding dress. He hands them to me.

“I’m going to jump in the shower.  When I get out, let’s rip these off of each other.”

I take it back. Old underwear can be sexy.

Sexy Links:

For Her: Hanky Panky thongs:

http://www.hankypanky.com/Signature-Lace-Low-Rise-Thong

For Him: Mansilk Boxer Briefs. 

 http://www.freshpair.com/mens/Mansilk/underwear/boxer-briefs.html

 


Comments

11/11/2011 07:43

Wow! Carol TMI (to much info!) luv it though.
Ames here, You go girl!
Damn, your good. Thank you. You do realize your "exposing" the total truth, it's the outcome I crave. I'll be sure to give it a try. Love, Ames...

Reply
Rose
11/13/2011 19:29

you made me laugh out loud with your conclusion--nice work!

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Marie
11/14/2011 09:14

It's all Feng Shui baby! Inspired me to do some of my own purging of the old :)

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C.C.
11/14/2011 09:34

Yes! Shred those old undies.

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Jenna
11/22/2011 15:23

Love reading these Carol! You look gorgeous on your picture and I am going to rent Bliss as well as do some serious feng shui with my underwear drawer. LOVING your posts!! So glad you are rocking your voice for the sensual!

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BB
12/03/2011 13:07

Oh I'm laughing out loud! Keep them comming, so great! I am enspired to do some serious Christmas shopping for my sex life in the form of a whole new top drawer!

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Nancy Koerber
01/07/2012 17:47

So True. It is so hard to purge the old comfy stuff. Very inspiring....I will try. Nancy

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Carol G.
01/08/2012 15:26

This tradition is actually one of the sexiest and funniest times I had with my last man. There's something primal about the 'ripping'! Excellent blog my dear.

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Trixie
02/11/2012 14:48

Don't forget what else goes in that top drawer...go and get your sexy little selves some new toys!

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04/09/2012 02:58

I think the things you covered through the post are quiet impressive, good job and great efforts. I found it very interesting and enjoyed reading all of it...keep it up, lovely job.

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