Thursday is the sexiest night of the week in La Grande, Oregon. Live music and dancing start every week at 8:00 p.m. at the Ten Depot Street restaurant and bar downtown.

It’s the perfect place to conduct my first Sexy Survey.

The question: How do you, in two or three words, define sexy?

I warm up with my beer drinking companion, Dan.

He pauses to think about this for all of three seconds.

“Fit. Passionate.” He is currently single and playing the dating game so he knows exactly what he wants. 

I finish my beer and turn to the table of twenty-something beauties sitting at the table beside us. When one of them looks up from texting, I slide my chair over and ask if she wants to be a part of my sexy survey.

She tucks a long spiral of blonde hair behind her ear and smiles.  I take that as a yes.

Her response:  Confidence.  Six Pack Abs.

When I start to write down her response, she gives an embarrassed laugh and says she was just kidding about the Six Pack.

“No, that’s good,” I assure her.  “Six Pack Abs are sexy.”

“Yeah, they are.”  I learn that she is 22.  A student.

One of her friends at the other end of the table leans forward, eager to be involved. She’s had a few minutes to think about it and rattles of her top three.

“Confident. Genuine. Original, someone who is their own person.”

By the time I leave the princess table, they are completely engaged in a sexy dialogue and no longer texting. I move on to a guy at the bar with an empty martini glass in front of him. 

His response: Hourglass figure.  Charisma. When I ask his age, he says it’s his 49th birthday. I give him a kiss on the cheek before heading on.

I interrupt two guys in their mid-twenties, also college students, who are sitting in the back of the bar looking very bored.  From them: Confidence.  Fitness. Someone Who Is Happy (this from the one who looks kind of depressed). I tell them they are sitting way too far from the princess table and flutter away.  

My timing for this survey is perfect.  The music hasn’t started yet and everyone, it seems, is just finishing a first round of drinks and is more than willing to discuss sexiness.

I approach another table and pull up a chair with a heavy equipment operator, a nurse and her husband, a carpenter. The carpenter rolls up his sleeves before he answers, like he’s getting hot just thinking about it or getting ready for some serious debate.  Both, it turns out.

After ten minutes, I have to pry myself away from their engaging conversation on the nuances of sexy.  Their top three answers: Quick Wit. Openness. Confidence. But this fifty-something group adds a confidence caveat:  Not Overbearing.

I’m able to survey twelve people before the music starts.

Confidence is the overwhelming winner with six votes. 

Attractive (which I am grouping with Six Pack and Hourglass) gleans three votes. Balanced, Happy and Fit all take two votes each. 

There are lots of single entries:  Zest For Life, Honesty, Inviting, Vibrant, Spirited. 

My conclusions? 

If you are bored at a bar or a Christmas party, grab a pen and a cocktail napkin and conduct the survey.  When everyone in the room wants to talk to you, you’ll start to feel charismatic, open, inviting and confident. 

You’ll feel pretty sexy. 

Try it and post your results in the comments section of this post.  Let me know your top three responses, the location of your survey and any other juicy details.

Or...slip into your sexy pen name persona and let me know how you define sexy. 
I really want to know.
12/11/2011 03:32:29 am

Playful, exploratory, willing to share themselves, generous in allowing me to be myself...

12/12/2011 10:42:37 pm

Playful! Love that one. We included it in our wedding vows. Thanks for the reminder. Too workful lately.

12/19/2011 11:18:27 pm

I can't imagine going up to strangers and asking them what they think is sexy. You are so brave and confident!!!

12/24/2011 08:56:35 pm

Don't be too impressed. I found the courage in a pint of PBR. But once I got started it was so fun~people light up when you bring up the topic of sexiness. Try it.

Carol G.
1/8/2012 07:56:25 am

I too can't imagine initiating the survey, but I've done many things I didn't think were possible. I'll give it a try sometime.

2/11/2012 07:30:44 am

Asked 4 my office! We decided a work environment wasn't quite as fun as in the bar, but we managed to get a dialogue. Josh, in his 20's said sexy is: Girl who isn't afraid to get dirty, like camping and hiking. Girl who drinks beer. Girl who wears glasses...makes her look smart. Jennifer, late 20's: confidence without being a jack ass. Not only a sense of humor, but the ability to make you laugh. Man who lets you be you, without manipulating and being overbearing. Mandy, 37 years: Sense of humor, long hair and beards, fun. Linda 50 something: Man who know how to get things done (that's all for Linda, she was busy). And me? Well, I can't deny that confidence ranks very high. Long, dark hair and full lips, takes the time to know about me and good manners. Minimal swearing, please. Next time I do the survey, I'll make sure to have a beer in my hand!

3/12/2012 09:50:53 am

Way to go Trixie. Excellent survey. At the office even! I'm impressed. I'll be sure to watch my f-ing p's and q's next time I see you.

lady ames
3/10/2013 12:17:39 am

Sexy? It is one look, it's the smile, the turn of the head, and the glow in the eyes.


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