One of the purposes of this blog is to blow the lid off the definition of sexy.

This post is the first of a new series to do just that. 

Defining Sexy #1:

Sexy: (adj.) used to describe someone who has mastered a skill which you aspire to be good at but are hopelessly not.

For me, today, that skill would be: splitting firewood.

I find it is so incredibly hot the way my man swings an ax and slices through a huge pine log like it was a stick of butter.  When I try, all I get is a few dents in the top of the log.

But I went out to the chopping block this morning more determined than ever because:

  1. I like to think of myself as a sexy mountain woman who can split her own firewood.
  2. I’ve been having lots of meltdowns and my woodpile is almost down to dirt. If I want to keep soaking, I really need to figure this out.

I put on a sexy lumberjack ensemble: Daisy Dukes that are too worn and short to be worn anywhere but the cabin; a lace-trimmed tank top; hiking boots and leather gloves. 

I threw everything I had into that ax and all I got was a ‘thunk’.  I even closed my eyes and meditated on it, imagining the energy of my entire body transferring through the ax into the wood. 


I decided it must be a leverage thing, given that my man is about six feet tall and I’m only five. 

So I went inside the cabin in search of my new boots, a gift from my friend Katherine who encourages my erotica writing yet calls me Little Peanut which is only fair since I call her Bugs.  I think she determined that I needed new pair of Come-Fuck-Me boots after reading this post.

I’ve never worn the boots outside the cabin since they are designed for seducing not hiking, but I was eager to test my leverage theory.

End result:  After about ten thunks I finally hacked one round in two. I didn’t get much wood split but I laughed a lot.

Which brings me to Defining Sexy #2:

Sexy- (adj.) used to describe someone who is willing to look ridiculous in order to get better at something they find sexy.

Sexy Prod: What skill do you find so sexy that you are willing to look ridiculous trying to master it? Tell me about it in the comments. If you don't have one, find something. Dropping the ego and learning something new is super sexy.
7/16/2013 03:51:35 am

Sorry to blow the lid off your theory..but I am short and I have been chopping my own wood for years! Otherwise I would have frozen a long time ago. It's about a powerful swing. I've chopped wood in flip flops and in boots--doesn't matter. Love when I split open a big round. Now that's sexy.
I think of tele skiing as sexy when my man does it, but honestly I don't feel inspired to try it. Not because of ego though. Other reasons.

C.C. Havens
7/19/2013 01:58:14 am

Yes, splitting a big round is super sexy. I aspire to such sexiness.

So, M, I'd love to hear about those "other reasons" why you don't tele ski. You may want to rethink that decision~ you get low enough in tele turns for snowy crotch shots

3/5/2014 10:02:10 pm

Lately, driving has become such a turn-on! Shifting gears and experiencing the effects of the speed on my body is so sexy. Interacting with the other drivers while I sing to my favorite song of-the-moment... so good for the sacral and throat chakras! Just thinking about it makes me hot.


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