One of the purposes of this blog is to blow the lid off the definition of sexy.
This post is the first of a new series to do just that.
Defining Sexy #1:
Sexy: (adj.) used to describe someone who has mastered a skill which you aspire to be good at but are hopelessly not.
For me, today, that skill would be: splitting firewood.
I find it is so incredibly hot the way my man swings an ax and slices through a huge pine log like it was a stick of butter. When I try, all I get is a few dents in the top of the log.
But I went out to the chopping block this morning more determined than ever because:
- I like to think of myself as a sexy mountain woman who can split her own firewood.
- I’ve been having lots of meltdowns and my woodpile is almost down to dirt. If I want to keep soaking, I really need to figure this out.
I put on a sexy lumberjack ensemble: Daisy Dukes that are too worn and short to be worn anywhere but the cabin; a lace-trimmed tank top; hiking boots and leather gloves. I threw everything I had into that ax and all I got was a ‘thunk’. I even closed my eyes and meditated on it, imagining the energy of my entire body transferring through the ax into the wood.
I decided it must be a leverage thing, given that my man is about six feet tall and I’m only five.
So I went inside the cabin in search of my new boots, a gift from my friend Katherine who encourages my erotica writing yet calls me Little Peanut which is only fair since I call her Bugs. I think she determined that I needed new pair of Come-Fuck-Me boots after reading this post.
I’ve never worn the boots outside the cabin since they are designed for seducing not hiking, but I was eager to test my leverage theory.
End result: After about ten thunks I finally hacked one round in two. I didn’t get much wood split but I laughed a lot.
Which brings me to Defining Sexy #2:
Sexy- (adj.) used to describe someone who is willing to look ridiculous in order to get better at something they find sexy.
Sexy Prod: What skill do you find so sexy that you are willing to look ridiculous trying to master it? Tell me about it in the comments. If you don't have one, find something. Dropping the ego and learning something new is super sexy.
I have a guest blogger this week. In this post, Herman gets off on a cup of coffee...
Recently I found myself in Roseburg, Oregon while away on work. With its streets lined with chain stores and more than a few seedy characters, I found Roseburg to be an uninspiring, somewhat sketchy town. That is, until I stopped at one of the hundreds of coffee stands there. Expecting to drive up and order my normal americano, imagine my surprise when this beauty greeted me at the window:
Judging by the smile on her face, I think she enjoyed my surprise and inability to make a coherent sentence. I've been away from home almost two months now, so admittedly it doesn't take much to arouse my desires. After the few minutes it took to get my coffee, the longing to reunite with my wife was heightened exponentially.
I was curious about the coffee shop, so when I got back to my room, the first thing I did (OK maybe not the first thing) was look up Bouncin’ Betty’s Coffee Company. I found a YouTube video from a local news segment that revealed a controversy about these bikini baristas.
Some people thought it was fun, while other’s comments ranged from:
"I find it extremely disgusting, and I'm sure I'm not the only wife and mother that feel this way,"
"I mean, it has it's place, but not in a coffee shop."
I wonder what she meant by 'it'. Bikini baristas have their place? Beautiful women have their place?
Personally, I think a coffee stand is a great place for a beautiful bikini barista. True, the coffee shop is making more money now that they hired bikini baristas, but does that mean they’re exploiting women? Is it a bad thing to get sexually aroused while buying coffee? There’s an old saying that I think could apply here:
“It doesn’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you go home to eat.”
What do you think? Is this just another capitalistic exploitation of women, or a fun sexy way to get your cup of joe?