I’m pretty proud of this: 

I've been making insomnia sexy.

I decided about two months ago that when I awaken at 2 a.m. after just five hours of sleep, I could lie there frustrated and drift in and out of sleep that feels like I’m awake… 

…or I could get out of bed and dwell in that space of wakefulness that feels like I’m still asleep.

The later is so much sexier.  

I've found that being awake while still tethered in the dreamy consciousness of sleep is an incredibly sensuous place.

Now when I wake up in the middle of the night, I give myself thirty minutes.  If I don’t fall back to sleep, I slide out of bed and into something luxurious~cashmere, satin or silk~ that I’ve left beside my bed. I stoke the woodstove, light a few candles and sit in meditation while a mug of hot water with a slice of lemon steeps at my feet.

When my body craves movement, I sip lemon water between yoga postures.  

When my thoughts crave movement, I pick up a pen and let them flow across the pages of my journal. I’ve found that in the fire-lit hours, words move like breath on the page, even and measured, when my critic is too sleepy to comment or care.

Ever since I’ve let go of the angst around not sleeping, I’ve come to cherish this sacred solo time when I can bask in the moonlight sneaking in my windows. I've reframed the idea of a sleepless night into a sleep less night.

After about an hour or so, I slide back into bed, curl up with my man and let the cadence of his breathing lure me into a deep restful sleep.

I wake up hydrated, centered and stretched.  My writing and contemplative practices are already done which leaves time for coffee in bed with my lover.   

It’s a pretty sexy ritual.

How about you? How do you make the most of a sleep less night? 

I’m by myself in the winter aspens.  I’ve never felt less alone.

I take off my glove and press my bare hand against a silvery trunk, eager to touch, to see, to feel with my fingers what vibrates in every cell of my being when I find myself pulling out of a waist-deep powder turn because I am even more enthralled by the trees I am skiing through.

Their pull on me is irresistible and intense, a seduction I felt all the way from Oregon.  Now that I am back in these winter aspens ~my habitat, my home, my tribe~ it’s as if I can hear them whisper and giggle, as giddy about this homecoming as I am.

When I lift my hand, my palm is dusted with the soft white powder of their bark. My thumb moves between my brows and even though I’m now more of a Mardi Gras pagan than an Ash Wednesday church goer, I integrate the two as I smudge a small cross over my third eye.

I hear the mumbled chant of my Inner Catholic girl youth.

Ashes to ashes.

My index finger drops to my lips. 

Dust to dust.

I trace the curve of my smile with the aspen dust, completing my anointment, my own sacred tribute to life, death and every precious breath in between.

 Last week I promised the wisdom of The Queens.

But then the snow gods bestowed twenty-four inches of champagne powder on the mountains by my home and my Inner Ski Bum kind of, like omigod totally, took over my life.  Because plunging clit first through that most magical of mediums amidst a tribe of silver-barked aspens is one of the most ecstatic things I do.

But I did manage to survey a couple Sexy Queens who incidentally are a little hard to track down.  They aren’t exactly waiting by the phone for someone like me to call and ask them how they’ve managed to stay so sexy.  They are out doing sexy things.

Like taking in, fully, twenty four inches.

So from the lips of my Sexy Mentors, here's how to sexify your approach to getting older.  I had planned to mix and blend their responses and serve them up like a top shelf margarita or an article for More magazine.  But, given the snow conditions here in Colorado, I’m going to serve it to you neat.

Question posed by Blog Me Sexy:  What advice do you have for women who are struggling with feeling sexy as they get older?


Recognize that you are indeed losing the power and beauty of your youth.  Grieve it, move on and don’t get stuck there.  Because you aren’t losing your power and beauty, you are just gaining it elsewhere.  Focus on what your power is now at your current age.  What are your strengths?  What are your greatest assets?  Focus on those, cultivate them.  That’s sexy.

When you find you are no longer the center of attention or attracting as much attention, look at why you needed that and let it go.

Recognize the gifts of getting older: 
Your refined sexuality and sexual experience
Greater emotional stability
Your interpersonal and organizational skills
You’re ability to love purely

Buy beautiful lingerie.  Just for yourself.  A Sexy Queen recommendation: Elle McPhearson’s lingerie line

Wear heels, notice how you walk differently in them.

Smile a lot.  Laugh a lot.  Look people in the eye.

Take care of your skin.  Wear sunscreen.  Good products do make a difference.

Take care of your body:
Don’t drink too much. 
Eat healthy foods.
Exercise. Lift weights twice a week and get aerobic at least three times a week by doing something you enjoy, walking, skiing, dancing…

Buy good-fitting, sexy jeans.

Dress well.

In your 20’s it’s was easy to be attractive. Sexiness at 60 comes with confidence.  You have to work at it. 

Enjoy the aging process.  Embrace it and focus on the positives.

Don’t try to look 20 when you are 50. And don’t try to compete with younger women.  Remember that you are attractive in your power and confidence.


A Queen in her 70’s told me that what they say about post menopausal vigor is all true.  Once she got through that transition, she’s felt great for the past twenty years and still does. She emphasized how important it is to take care of your body and health so you can ride that wave as long as possible.

Stay open to new experiences.

This blog post would not have been possbile without the help of some very gracious, sexy women. Merci mille fois.

If you have anything to add, do express your sexy self in the comments.